true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize