whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
