im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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