Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
