saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
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She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just want to make out with him forever
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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