I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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