called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
