i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
