Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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