So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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