"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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