i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
