I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
