I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
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So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
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I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours