How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi