She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think your dad took our porno
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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