I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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