Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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