Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
