I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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