community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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