either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
