If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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