Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
