we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
