well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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