don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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