4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
wow bdsm is so cute
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
