I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
