she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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