I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize