All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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