it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Fuck appropriateness.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
