I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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