Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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