Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
