she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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