he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
