Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
