great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.