Is it because I queefed?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
