i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
