i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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