holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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