I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
