I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
