I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize