it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
