I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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