my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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