i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
