my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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