On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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