I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
