This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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