I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
