Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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