You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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