no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
